I Have No Idea What I’m Doing, And That’s Okay

Recently, a ton of people have been asking me how I’m going to support myself next year when I graduate. Well ladies and gents, let me just put it out there right now, I have absolutely no idea, but I will.

I’ve always made my intentions clear about wanting to move to the East coast right after graduation, maybe a few weeks of traveling around prior to the move, but what is a fact is that I’m leaving. I’ve told my friends, family members, I even tell guys when I go out on that first date that I’m leaving in less than a year, and no I will not change my mind, yes even if we start dating and you’re a really cool person, I’m leaving.

Growing up in a small town had a lot of benefits, but god, I need something new. What better than packing up and moving across the country for that something new? The plan is to apply to a few graduate programs along the East coast and if I get in to one of them then I’ll do that. If not I’ll be applying for jobs in public relations and publishing in New York and Boston (not opposed to London though). And well folks, that’s about it. I think people assume I have this big elaborate plan; already have a job waiting for me, apartment picked out with the first six months of rent paid, and a cool $10,000 worth of savings. Update, I definitely, one hundred percent, do not. I’m driven that’s for sure, but am I always on top of my shit? No. Of course not.

I’m terrified that I won’t find a job but I also believe in myself. I know that I’ll be valuable to whatever school or company that wants to bring me on board, and once I get there I’m going to work my ass off to do my job better than they could ever expect. I think it’s hilarious and if I’m being honest, I kind of love the fact that people around me think I have it all together but c’mon, that’s just not realistic. I’m about to look for jobs in cities I’ve never been to for more than a week and where I know close to no one. To say I’m nervous would be a vast understatement, but I am ready. I used to be afraid of failing and letting people down, and I’d be lying if I said those thoughts never crept into my mind still, but every day I get closer to the things I’ve worked so hard for. I’ll be dammed if I let fear discourage me from going after what I want. There are so many things I want to do, so many places I want to go and more than that, so many things I want to feel.

Moral of the story, you don’t always need a plan. As hard as it is for me to say that, (I’m an avid passion planner fanatic) it’s true. Sometimes you have to take chances and put yourself out there. I’m confident that I’ll figure something out, and if I don’t.. well I’ve heard being an Instagram model makes quite a bit of money, maybe I’ll test that out?

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